Archive for the ‘competition’ Category

My Mom’s Gift, What is Really Important

January 2, 2011

I had another topic in mind to get my Blog up and running again in the first days of 2011.Then my 88 year old mom ended up in the hospital and I decided to write about that experience instead. My mother has such incredible faith, strength and fortitiude that I was humbled just being with her in the hospital. She had a goal in mind. That being to get out of the hospital and to get home. Her mind-body and spirit were focused on that singular outcome. However the spiritual gift she was about to bestow on me was huge. As she sat up in bed I rubbed her back she said, “oh that feels good” I told her I loved her and admired her.

She had raised 9 children and put one child to eternal rest, her dear daughter Regina. She did her best to raise us in spite of the fact that my dad could not hold a job and that he suffered with alcoholism. As I watched her sleep thoughts and feelings about the deep faith she must have had in God flooded my being. I t took faith to get through the ordeal of trying to feed us, being evicted from 9 dwellings for not paying the rent, trying to control, the best she knew how, the threat of violence that existed in our home. I had this sense of what God really wants us to learn with this earthly experience in the most profound manner possible. I felt this comforting spirit overcome my being, this peaceful state of stillness and inner quite.

My mother was conducting a church service for me while I sat with her watching her sleep. Through this seemingly negative situation, of her being in the hospital, the Holy Spirit was paying a visit to the inner workings of my soul. A message penetrating the trival nature of my mundane thoughts about my life and what I am facing. The only altar my mom needed for this church service was the hospital bed and the comfort of her own nightwear that my sister brought her from home. My pew for the service was a rather uncomfortable chair, well from what I remember of church pews, I guess the chair was soft as a pillow. As she delivered her silent sermom, her gift was recieved by my being, my heart, my soul my spirtual center. I felt an angelic voice ask me “What is really important Kevin? Is what troubles you really worth the time you are giving it? Does it take away energy away from what you are here on earth to do, to use your God given gifts to provide inspiration for others? Do you really think all of this wordly stuff is truly hard?” I felt this shiver run down my spine as I recieved the following message ” Here lies your mother, a testimony to What is Really Important” Here in this singular moment with my mom, as she slept, a peace came over me. Church was over as she opened her eyes and smiled at her me,her oldest son,and closed her eyes again.

I was then joined by my brothers Brian and Dennis, “the older boys” as we are refered to,there are 3 “younger boys” also. The church lesson had been recieved, in this singular moment my mothers work of making sure we understood that our love for each other is What is Really Important. The comfort I felt while the three of us talked and laughed together is hard to describe. It occured to me that mom’s hospital stay was orchestrated by the heavens. I needed to attend church with mom and my two brothers to drive home the spirtual lesson of What is Really Important. When mom awoke and sat up my brother Brian asked her, “Mom, what is is like to have your three oldest son’s with you” She responded with a smile “It is like heaven”

In life Our Spiritual Relationships each other is What is Really Important. Each and every interaction and situation with others that we find ourselves in is an opportuntiy to grow in our own spirituality.The only reason, on this level of being, that we have interactions is the opportunity to grow in our own spirituality.Thanks for the gift Mom, I love you.

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Pivot Away From Negativity

January 6, 2009

With every new year, comes a new rhyme and here’s mine: 2009, the time is right to feel fine.

Are you smiling yet?

I coached college basketball for many years and one of the most important fundamental skills I would repeatedly teach is the ability to pivot. When a player runs into a situation in which their desired path is blocked, they must pivot away from the defender(s) and put themselves in a position to maneuver freely again.

The same is true for feeling states.

If you find yourself in a negative frame of mind, it would behoove you to learn how to pivot into something more positive. It takes practice. In my speeches, I always tell the audience to learn to trap all negative feelings right then right now, and pivot away from them.

The next step is to immediately replace those feelings with something more positive, something powerful. Notice the change and remember how good it feels to have positive thoughts. Stop waiting for something to happen to change your mood; develop the ability to pivot by practicing with each negative feeling state.

Practice makes perfect.

An Athlete’s Responsibility

December 17, 2008

While speaking with a group of athletes last week on the responsibility to be a leader,  I was taken aback by how attentive the group was. I think we are entering an era of endless possibilities for molding the integrity of today’s athlete.

I find them so ready and willing to hear about how it is they can become better people while they improve as players. I am currently working on my second book,  Competing with Compassion, and I am encouraged by the fact that its message will be well received by this generation of athletes.

I find that these young men and women want to contribute to others, they want to sacrifice for the team and learn how to lead their teammates. They want to know how to be a better, more centered person as well as a high achieving athlete.

This is great stuff! It gives me a lot to look forward to as a sports fan.

Personal Growth Through Sports

December 11, 2008

Yesterday I stood in front of 50 athletes and coaches and talked to them about their responsibility as students, athletes and leaders. I stressed the idea that sports have to be about more than the games being played.

When we reduce the lofty teaching potential of athletic participation to the score of the games, we have lost a chance for personal growth.

Athletes have the responsibility to show courage in their decision making. Leaders have to sometimes be like the eagle. The eagle does not flock with the crowd; it stands alone with pride. Athletes are under a microscope with others watching their every move, this means that they must move about with a high level of integrity.

They have the unique chance under public scrutiny to blend mind body and spirit with a unity of purpose like no other venue. We the public hold athletes to very high standards, and rightfully so. Applying the same standards to our personal lives will foster personal growth.

It will make us better individuals. Stronger individuals.

It’s All About The Journey

October 29, 2008

The past few days have been very busy for me. I’ve done workshops with 3 sports teams and a major hospital in Philadelphia.  I also conducted four sessions with a few different departments at the Borgata/Water Club Casino Hotel.

I did “Sports Gone Wild” yesterday and it went really well. My guests were great and the conversation was quite spirited.  My main argument was that there is too much of an emphasis on the outcome, while not enough of it is placed  on the journey when it comes to sports nowadays.  It is important to set outcome goals, but the real valuable lessons for personal growth are attained during the journey itself. Regardless of the end result.

Whether the ultimate goal is higher profits or being number one, the  focus should be placed on what we learn about ourselves along the way.  With every challenge that is faced, an individual either takes a step forward (a win) or a step backward (a loss).

Reaching an undesired outcome doesn’t have to negate the learning that has taken place.

What do you think?