Archive for the ‘compassion’ Category

My Mom’s Gift, What is Really Important

January 2, 2011

I had another topic in mind to get my Blog up and running again in the first days of 2011.Then my 88 year old mom ended up in the hospital and I decided to write about that experience instead. My mother has such incredible faith, strength and fortitiude that I was humbled just being with her in the hospital. She had a goal in mind. That being to get out of the hospital and to get home. Her mind-body and spirit were focused on that singular outcome. However the spiritual gift she was about to bestow on me was huge. As she sat up in bed I rubbed her back she said, “oh that feels good” I told her I loved her and admired her.

She had raised 9 children and put one child to eternal rest, her dear daughter Regina. She did her best to raise us in spite of the fact that my dad could not hold a job and that he suffered with alcoholism. As I watched her sleep thoughts and feelings about the deep faith she must have had in God flooded my being. I t took faith to get through the ordeal of trying to feed us, being evicted from 9 dwellings for not paying the rent, trying to control, the best she knew how, the threat of violence that existed in our home. I had this sense of what God really wants us to learn with this earthly experience in the most profound manner possible. I felt this comforting spirit overcome my being, this peaceful state of stillness and inner quite.

My mother was conducting a church service for me while I sat with her watching her sleep. Through this seemingly negative situation, of her being in the hospital, the Holy Spirit was paying a visit to the inner workings of my soul. A message penetrating the trival nature of my mundane thoughts about my life and what I am facing. The only altar my mom needed for this church service was the hospital bed and the comfort of her own nightwear that my sister brought her from home. My pew for the service was a rather uncomfortable chair, well from what I remember of church pews, I guess the chair was soft as a pillow. As she delivered her silent sermom, her gift was recieved by my being, my heart, my soul my spirtual center. I felt an angelic voice ask me “What is really important Kevin? Is what troubles you really worth the time you are giving it? Does it take away energy away from what you are here on earth to do, to use your God given gifts to provide inspiration for others? Do you really think all of this wordly stuff is truly hard?” I felt this shiver run down my spine as I recieved the following message ” Here lies your mother, a testimony to What is Really Important” Here in this singular moment with my mom, as she slept, a peace came over me. Church was over as she opened her eyes and smiled at her me,her oldest son,and closed her eyes again.

I was then joined by my brothers Brian and Dennis, “the older boys” as we are refered to,there are 3 “younger boys” also. The church lesson had been recieved, in this singular moment my mothers work of making sure we understood that our love for each other is What is Really Important. The comfort I felt while the three of us talked and laughed together is hard to describe. It occured to me that mom’s hospital stay was orchestrated by the heavens. I needed to attend church with mom and my two brothers to drive home the spirtual lesson of What is Really Important. When mom awoke and sat up my brother Brian asked her, “Mom, what is is like to have your three oldest son’s with you” She responded with a smile “It is like heaven”

In life Our Spiritual Relationships each other is What is Really Important. Each and every interaction and situation with others that we find ourselves in is an opportuntiy to grow in our own spirituality.The only reason, on this level of being, that we have interactions is the opportunity to grow in our own spirituality.Thanks for the gift Mom, I love you.

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Aim For The Sky

September 1, 2009

The summer has been amazing – trips to Hawaii, Orlando and the good old New jersey Shore. All three combined business and pleasure. And as a result of these trips, I have developed a more powerful focus on the contributions I intend to make to society. I have become a founding member of a personal transformation and educational company: The Polaris Media Group.

This organization will be at the forefront of positive change in our society.

I am excited because the media so often reduces the human experience to its negative aspects and being able to provide a media experience that helps people find their voice in a positive manner has immensely invigorated me.

I have been an optimist for a long time. I have always had a belief that anything is possible if we perceive life through a positive lens. My own books and soon to be released audio programs will continue to spread that message.

I now am a member of the Polaris Media Group and the platform has exploded – our line of personal development tools is perfectly in-sync with the message that I have been putting out for years.

I am ready to launch with new power and enthusiasm.

It is imperative at this time in the history of the world to not settle for mediocrity. It is time to step out with a voice that says I AM POWERFUL AND I PLAN TO MAKE A POSITIVE CONTRIBUTION TO MY FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS.

However, that starts with getting your own house in order. We must first quiet the inner voice that limits us. Once that happens, the sky truly becomes the only limit.

Look out world, The Miracles of Optimism are ready to be unleashed in a huge way.

Aim for the sky!

Goals & Self-Sabotage – Your Inner Voice

May 7, 2009

When I conduct workshops, participants often ask me to help them set goals. I usually suggest that they write about the things they may be doing that inadvertently prevent their goals from being realized. In other words, what are the internal messages that are impeding their progress?

When I was writing my first book, The Miracle of Optimism, I monitored the inner voice that was speaking to me when I had a case of the proverbial “writers block.” What I discovered was that the block simply was internal sabotage. I was telling myself things like “I do not have time to sit and write a book” or “How will I ever find a publisher?”. Another recurring internal message was “you are stupid, remember most of your teachers told you that!”

I had to get rid of this self-sabotage mechanism.

I started writing affirmations to support my goals. I found this to be a powerful method to release some of the negative thoughts and feeling states. I would write statements that made me feel like a powerful bestselling author: things such as “The Miracle of Optimism is finished, published and sold!”

I wrote an affirming statement for every goal I set and the bookended up becoming a bestseller on Amazon.com. That is a tribute to the power of affirmations in support of a stated goal.

If it worked for me it can surely work for you.

What is your inner voice saying?

Priorities

May 4, 2009

I just finished helping a teacher/coach client of mine with an incredibly tough task. I had to help him write a eulogy he will deliver tomorrow for one of his players. A player I knew well. We both cried as we talked about the “why’s” of tragedies such as these. An 18 year old killed in a car while driving after having too much to drink; driving too fast and without a seat belt. These last two days have prompted me to reflect on our educational system’s misplaced priorities.

I lament about the possibilities of this young man if the Life Success program that I conducted in his school had not been cut from the budget; he would have been enrolled in that program. Is it more important that we make sure our students “test” well in science and math so we can keep up with the world while not making it a priority to teach the proper life skills? We live in a fast paced society and young people need to be equipped with the proper decision making skills to keep up with the monumental amount of life altering decisions they make on a daily basis.

Today, I cannot help but think that this young man would be alive today if my progressive program for working with young people had not been cut. However, I will not dwell on it because it would be a waste of time and energy.

I am optimistic that teaching Life Success will be a priority in schools all across the nation in the near future. I intend to be a catalyst for that occurring. As I finish writing this tonight and head out to the wake to say goodbye to this young man I am sad. Tomorrow I will be more determined than ever to initiate change.

Emotional Stimulus Package

April 27, 2009

Managing your emotional economy is a vital component to living a vibrant life during these tough times. In order to do so, you need to put aside your 401K and mortgage worries, and know that we live in an abundant universe. The key is to believe; optimism is your emotional stimulus package.

Worrying, being afraid and anxious are the attitudes that block abundance and excellence. Managing your emotional economy means that you understand the inherent value that an optimistic outlook has on your life. It means that you are aware that optimism is a powerful state of being to exist in if you want to remain full of energy and vibrancy.

Maintaining a positive perspective at all times is a breeding ground for great things to happen. Negative emotional states are equivalent to having weeds in a garden; they make it difficult to render beautiful fruit, or abundance.

Think about it, we know that negativity breeds negativity. This is why optimism is your emotional stimulus package and unlike the economic one, you don’t need anyone’s approval to pass it: All you need to do is believe.

We have to believe folks. Happy Monday!

No News Is Good News

April 23, 2009

During my workshops, I challenge people to swear off all news media for a week. Cold turkey. I ask them to check in on their energy level each day and by the end of the week, they’re all more energetic as they haven’t been absorbing the media’s constant stream of negativity.

It is a bio-spiritual fact that bad news are emotionally draining. It’s a fact that while viewing, hearing or reading about robberies, murders and rapes, we release hormones, such as cortisol, which damage our minds, bodies and spirits.

When my mother asks “how do you know what is going on if you do not watch the news or read the newspaper?”, I tell her that I do know what’s going on: someone was murdered, the financial community cheated someone and we are at war with someone. Right?

I do not watch the TV news broadcasts. I have trained myself to only read articles with a positive vibe. I do scan the internet for optimism filled stories because I know they are out there.

It may seem like I live in a bubble, but that’s not the case; I just refuse to flood my system with negativity every day.

Life is too short. I want to enjoy it.

What do you think?

How can the public remain sane when the media goes wild?

April 15, 2009

It takes a certain level of detachment to not get sucked into the speculation and gossip-filled circus that is considered news nowadays. Most of the so called “truth” is based on opinions and assumptions, and therefore lacks true substance.

This poses a serious threat.

It becomes a problem when a pundit’s assumption or opinion is espoused as the “truth” by a group of people who refuse to second guess said pundit. In this age of widespread punditry, anyone that hears the “news” can become an expert through osmosis.

Individuals take a pundit’s assumption to heart, spread it as factual information among their circles, which in turn continue to propagate them under the false idea that they are “news.”

Talk radio is a great example of this seriously flawed cycle and format of news circulation: it turns the “truth” into an assumption gone wild.

It is important to be critical and to second-guess the media we consume; if not, we become actors in this spectacle of gossip, opinion and assumptions masquerading as news.

It’s a very vicious circle.

This is why it is imperative to not believe everything we hear and see, because even though the media has gone wild, the public must preserve its sanity.

Are you still sane?

Appreciating Parenthood

April 10, 2009

It is very important for parents to understand that parenting does not always reveal immediate results. Our children often immediately reject the lessons we strive to teach them. The key is to focus on the quality of the process and not attach ourselves to the outcome.

It can take children of all ages a while to understand the benefits of good parenting. A sure fire pathway to stressful living is to measure your success as a parent solely on whether or not your children are getting it.

Additionally, it is imperative that parents ritualize silence and reflection. In other words, setting a time and a place to stay quiet, breathe deeply and internalize appreciation for our children and ourselves. Intentional appreciation is a powerful bio-spiritual tool for restoring energy, and having an optimistic outlook on life and parenthood.

We must enjoy the journey because it is the destination in and of itself.

Have a great weekend!

My Motivation

February 17, 2009

This evening I’ll be talking to self-help professionals on The Miracle Show, in order to give you guys a glimpse into what drives them, what distinguishes them from their peers and what they bring to the table. In honor of tonight’s show, here’s a glimpse into what drives me to do this work.

I met this young woman after I nearly died on the floor of the Linc Stadium. The school district gave me a job while I got back up on my feet.

I’ve had such an amazing and blessed life.Thanks for reading.

“I am a former student of Kevin Touhey. My journey began about six years ago when I was a Junior in High School. Kevin worked in my High School part time at that time. I pretty much went there “part time” as well, being that I frequently cut class, left early or just left for the day. I had been around the same peers for several years and I never really had a problem getting along with others…except one “clique” of boys. Quite honestly, I was fed up with their immature ways of poking fun and laughing when they put others down. However, if this clique did not exist…neither would this e-mail because this is how I met “Mr. Touhey.”

It was the end of my Junior Year and I had just been “dumped” by “Jimmy.” For about a week, every time I would sit in class with him or his friends, they would try really hard to aggravate me. A few days later…I walked in to the main office DRENCHED in red Gatorade! My administrator called in Mr. Touhey to find this Jimmy kid in class, and bring him to the office.

Long story short, I met Touhey that day and every day for the next 6 weeks as he was pretty much my bodyguard as he says. He was told by my administrator that he would walk me to and from every, single class! I started talking to Touhey in the halls on our short walks. After about 6 weeks I felt like I had a friend.

My senior year, Touhey worked as a gym teacher and he was my gym teacher. I would talk to him about his book (he was in the process of writing the Miracle of Optimism), he would talk about his family that he loves so very much! I remember how excited he was when they had their second baby girl.

At the end of my senior year, I graduated High School and went to college. I did not see Touhey for about five years….Until, Halloween Parade at the end of October 2008. I had no clue he lived close by five years later. So, when I was walking around that evening I was SHOCKED because I thought I saw Mr. Touhey. I literally pulled my husband’s arm so hard it startled him and he had no idea what I was so on about. “MR. TOUHEY…TOUHEY” I yelled and I felt like everyone was staring at me. So, I walk up and give him a hug and introduce my husband. “Touhey guess what?! He is a cop” I said, “Can you believe that of all people I married a cop?” Kevin’s response is so classic: “Great! Now you have a bodyguard to walk you around 24-7!”

It is so ironic how people come in and out of your life. I started talking about my career as I am working with an insurance company now and I asked about his. I knew for years that he could and should make it as a writer, and he did which made me ecstatic! When Kevin said he was still doing motivational speaking I knew that I had to ask him to speak at one of my company’s events.

So, back to my boss I went and they agreed to have him as the motivational speaker at our State Kick Off event in early January 2009. It was the best hour of the entire day as we all sat and listened. Not one person got up, left the room, or took their eyes off of Touhey. We all cried at one point or another because what he was saying was so inspirational, moving and life-changing.

Touhey had about three standing ovations! We all brought home a signed copy of the best book I have ever read in my entire life…The Miracle of Optimism By: Kevin Touhey; an Amazon top seller written and published by a miracle…Mr. Touhey…my bodyguard!”

Self-Help Panel – Why & How We Do It

February 3, 2009

Catch me Wednesday evening on The Miracle Show where I will premiere my self-help round-table series: Why & How We Do It. I decided to organize this panel because as I was writing my book, The Miracle of Optimism, I came across numerous other individuals, whom like myself, are dedicating their lives to making other people’s lives better. They are dedicating their time to teaching us how to handle the lemons life throws at us. They genuinely want us to embrace and take full advantage of the opportunities life presents us with.

I want to discuss what drives them. I want to understand how their journey on this path started and most importantly, what differentiates them from the others in this field. Because, as I am sure you have realized, there is a lot of clutter. This show will help these professionals break through it and let you, the audience, understand what they can do for you. It will help you understand what they bring to the self-help table.

The first episode will feature Laurie Santos of Extreme Dream Training, Thomas Rich of Wellness-Inspired Self Help and The Logistician Reggie Greene.

I hope you’ll tune in tomorrow, Wednesday February 4th at 7:30 EST. The call in number is (347) 945-7713, I’d love to hear your questions and comments.

“See” you tomorrow!